Up

“I’ve always wanted to fly,” I whispered, leaning my head forward to get closer to Sky’s ear.

“Then go on.” Sky didn’t really pay attention and focused on the man singing in front of us instead.

Tonight is the anniversary of our school. The hall wasn’t too crowd, people were really tired of school to the point they’d stop coming if there are no classes; even though it’s the school annual party.

“I never got a chance to fly. I’ve never been on an airplane before. What was it like being up there, Sky? They said it’s beautiful, but I think it’s kinda scary though, to be miles away from safety tools. You don’t have hospital up there, or police station, so if bad things happen then you’re done, you can’t do anything. I wanna fly, but I’m also scared at the thought of it.” I talked in a low toned voice.

“You don’t think when you fly, you just feel. You feel the soothing light of the sun and imagine soft textured clouds touch your fingers while the wind blows below your neck. Beside, why’d you think when you are 30.000 ft above the earth? Leave your bad thoughts down there. you really like to complicate things don’t you?” Sky turned around and faced me, looking uneasy.

The music ended, it was the time for the party to end too.

“Okay, sorry.” I mumbled as I straightened my back, ready to get up. Sky was already standing and left.

“Here, take these. Fly on the way home.” Sky came back, handed me lustrous pink and grey balloons from the photo corner.

I grinned then asked, “Take a picture of me?”

“Sure.”

If I fly, will I ever touch the Sky?

balloons

Advertisements

Celestial

“Look at that full moon. Isn’t it beautiful?” Sky pointed at the moon, we were at the school finishing some group project.

“It is. Do you like the moon?” I asked.

“Among all the celestial bodies? Yes.” Sky answered.

“Why?” I didn’t know Sky liked the moon that much.

“Okay this is cheesy but you were the one who asked. The moon has always been so close. Let’s say stars are bigger and shine on it’s own, but the moon simply rotate around the earth. It rises and sets everyday, although there are days it goes blend with the dark, still, it is what I like about the moon. It’s consistency of being close.” Sky talked while looking above, then giggled after heard my laugh. “Why did you laugh?”

“I never heard that kind of reaction when it comes to astronomical talks.” I couldn’t help but laugh harder. “Tell me, who’s this moon actually?”

Sky didn’t answer. “What’s your favourite, then?”

This time I didn’t answer. I smiled for a straight 10 seconds. I knew I’ve been a stargazer for half of my life. And I knew, I wasn’t the moon, or will ever be.

I was only a mere stardust; remnant of the vanished star.

 

 

Merenung

Pernahkah kalian mendengar tentang seseorang yang saking menginspirasinya, kalian sampai bengong terkagum-kagum, hingga berpikir mereka tidak punya kekurangan apapun? Pasti keren ya, indah parasnya, baik tutur sikapnya, bermanfaat tiap langkahnya.

Tapi pernahkah juga mendengar tentang seseorang yang, datar saja hidupnya, tidak terlalu menonjol pun tidak terpuruk amat, mengikuti arus, standar lah istilahnya?

Sebegitu cepat kita menilai orang lain, bahkan 10 detik pertama rasanya kita sudah bisa ikut merasakan seru maupun bosannya hidup seseorang. Kita mana tahu, dalam hidup sang inspirator ada kepahitan macam apa. Atau, betapa sang manusia biasa cinta mati dengan memasak, sampai hanya dengan memasak untuk keluarganya saja ia sangat gembira, tanpa titel maupun prestasi lainnya.

Dulunya akupun merasa, jadi hebat itu berarti punya pengaruh, bermanfaat bagi khalayak ramai. Belajar sampai Eropa! Bekerja sosial sampai Palestina! Pokoknya yang menuntutku dikenal orang banyak, menjadi inspirasi masyarakat. Tapi tulisan Mas Kurniawan Gunadi tentang menjadi manusia biasa, menyentil egoku. Wah, selama ini aku tidak pernah memandang tetanggaku yang buka laundry itu hebat. Mana ada prestasinya melanglang buana ke seluruh dunia. Tapi, dari tangannya ia berhasil menopang ekonomi keluarga, menjaga rumahnya tetap bersih terawat, membesarkan anaknya dengan sehat. Singkatnya, beliau sangat bermanfaat. Mungkin tidak bagiku, atau tetanggaku yang lain, apalagi masyarakat se-Kabupaten, tapi ia bermanfaat bagi keluarganya. Sekecil apapun, nyatanya, manfaat tetaplah manfaat. Walau hanya sebentuk muhasabah sebelum tidur, jika itu memperbaiki akhlaknya, itulah manfaat. Aku berpikir terlalu jauh, hingga melupakan hal terpenting dalam upaya menjadi lebih baik.

Hingga aku menulis ini, aku mendengar kabar temanku yang sekarang sukses dengan usahanya, bekerja keras memperbaiki jiwa leadershipnya. Sungguh, kudoakan semoga ia senantiasa mendapat manfaat dari hal tersebut. Dan teman-temanku lainnya, yang masih menuntut ilmu, atau melakukan kegiatan lain, yang mungkin saja belum merasa sukses baik finansial maupun akademik, aku percaya sekarang, pasti ada manfaatnya selama itu diniatkan kebaikan. Pasti ada, sekecil apapun itu.

Menyenangkan bukan ketika kita sadar, ternyata, hal kecil berisi kebaikan yang senantiasa kita remehkan ternyata ada manfaatnya?

Bersyukurlah, karena ternyata kita semua manusia-manusia bermanfaat!

I promise

you will never be erased

when the memories collapse

into nothingness

I save you there,

on the street you casually took me,

on the third chapter of the book

which smelled like you,

on the night wind that blew

your name,

I torn you into pieces

and keep you

everywhere,

you will never be erased.

 

In the World Where Existence Doesn’t Matter

he did all the prayers, but he never felt like those all were enough. the more he did the more he groaned for lacking of praying. he got the prettiest wife, with the most beautiful behaviour, yet he was afraid to show her to the world, not even on a picture, like she was a pearl under the deepest sea; his most precious jewel. he worked his hardest to get money, but he chopped it for the neighbor behind, for the widows and the orphans around the corner. he had electronics, he watched tv like almost every human being did, he surfed internet too. but the news never shook him right nor left, he stood still on what he was always taught; never say a word of what you don’t have the knowledge about.

in the world where existence doesn’t matter, he exists.

***